Musings on the two year journey called MBA

These two years have changed me - in a huge way. When I was to come here, I was told that life will not be the same as it was all these years. And that has turned out to be true. So, I am penning down the major things that I have learnt in this journey at Planet I.

Fear is the biggest handicap there can be. If you lose out on opportunities because you are afraid, you are sure to regret that in life – sooner or later. So, if there is any club, committee, interest club or sport that you are interested in, give it a shot. Failing to get in is better than not attempting at all – my personal experience.

You define your own self. Amidst the rampant stereotyping and pressure that life keeps putting us through,  we have to make our choices as to who we want to be and put efforts in that direction. And it pays off in due time.

It is vital to get out of your comfort zone. It is only when you push yourself that you truly realize what you can achieve. Plus, it is what you do that defines you – not just your intentions.

There will be pitch dark days – when you feel utterly dejected and very lonely. What is important to remember in those times is that those days will pass. A positive attitude can make the dark days go away faster.

Everyone has a story inside them - of struggle, of ambition, of passion and of love. And they might be at different points in those stories. So, it is not right to judge anyone.

People are not black or white – there are shades of grey. Even in your own self. It is advisable to not hate anyone for anything that they have done.

You are bound to get hurt by someone or the other. When the storm gets too hard, it is best to keep your head low and let it pass. Fight after you have recuperated your strength and composure.

In the real world, more important than execution of plans is your ability to manage when your plans fail. Patience is an irreplaceable and an underestimated virtue. All good things need patience.

Some things will stay out of your reach. And this is true for everyone. You can do anything, but not everything. But this should not let the other things that you do have be disregarded.

It is crucial to differentiate between what you can control and what is beyond your control. The more time you spend on the former, the happier you will be.

One has to take care to not discount self. If you don’t realize your worth, chances are no one will. This is detrimental to life in a broad sense.

More than anything else, keeping yourself grounded is necessary. Overconfidence and an egotistic attitude are fatal to happiness in the long run.

It is important to take time to relax.  Short breaks make herculean tasks become doable.

Some of your best friendships will collapse. It will hurt and sting. People without whom you could not imagine a day will move away.

But then, you will find friends in people you did not expect. That will restore the belief in goodness of life.

At some point or other, you will realize that time is the only remedy to some of your troubles.

Term 6 will give you more time to relax than all 5 previous terms put together. So, keep yourself going till this term no matter how hard it may get in the meanwhile.

What will matter the most at the end is what you created for others and how you treated them. No one is fond of a person who did everything for his own self.

You will develop an attachment to college even if you think you had a hard time here. I am one of those people – I thought I would not mind it when the MBA will end. But I am already feeling miserable about it getting over.

And so now I truly realize that all good things come to an end. That is a fact no one can change.

But then, some other good things begin. So, the patience is worth it.

As one of the 450 odd students who will graduate from IIM Indore this March, I am happy to have lived this dream. I did not write the article as any advice – I just shared a few of my learnings. I urge you all to take it in that spirit alone.

Wishing all of you many cherish-able moments ahead!

The Special in the Ordinary...

It is about a few unspoken words in all that you speak and hear

It is about a few unexpressed desires that you seek in your daily life  

Those shy dreams behind your eyelids hiding from everyone out there

It is about the walk you take all by yourself on a lovely evening

It is about seeing a kid with his dad, wobbling around playfully

Those feelings of being complete but yet not whole in a single moment

It is about the unexpected drizzles making you feel refreshed and happy

It is about the strong, energetic wind that gushes through your hair

Those childlike feelings behind the responsible person that you are

It is about the unexpectedly sweet encounter with a stranger in the new city

It is about smiling at the unknown yet known person in your travel to work

Those feelings of being good and grown up as you make your way in the crowd

It is about missing the luscious mangoes you enjoyed with your cousins as kids

It is about recreating those moments with new friends and new roommates.

Those moments of laughter and fun in sharing and teasing in this different phase

It is about that long chat with your best friend over the phone after many months

It is about reliving and cherishing the past days, yet being happy about the present

Those intense feelings of holding to everything that you have ever had and known

It is about achieving certain things that you had dreamed of since long

It is about knowing few things that have faded into the background of life

Those emotions of not being sure what has been gained or lost, but being content

It is like sweet music humming in your ears and in your heart

It is like your own rhythm to the chords of life

No special occasion, no grand event, no splendid date... it’s all in the mind

Attitude and Life

"The biggest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude." - William James

I came across this quote a few days ago. This quote hit me pretty strongly; as in not like a great movie which completely sweeps you off your feet; rather more like a powerful gush of chilly wind which makes you wrap yourself closer to your own self.

The quote essentially says- Change your attitude, you way of thinking and your life will change.

The first thought that came to my mind was that this seems too simple and too wonderful to be true. And then the other quote struck me- All essential things in life are simple.

It made me think about a number of things. In our daily lives, we have to go through many incidents which are not suited to our preferences. The buses run late, the traffic on the road is much more than expected, the professor/boss is grumpier than usual, the bills are higher than expected, friends are busy or immersed in their own worries… in all such situations, a change of attitude definitely brings a positive difference and that too immediately. 

Smile. Laugh. Enjoy the happy moment.

Or may be you need to cry it out. So do that and feel better.

Either way, it is much better than feeling upset or confused or wrought up in feelings.

But then there are tough times. Heartbreaks, loss of jobs, failures, death of a loved one.

It is much more difficult to swap out of the misery in such times… the quote might begin to feel distant. But as time passes, it is much more about attitude than anything else in deciding how that event will affect our lives. People all over the world have faced failures and miserable times- some of them have chosen to come out of it stronger rather than meek and scared and that is why, they have been able to live a more fulfilling life.

I had a discussion on this quote with my grandmother. We talked about the many events in which the quote holds true, we also talked about events in which the quote feels like an ‘easier-said-than-done’ thing. She told me how after an unfortunate series of events in the family, she became the sole breadwinner of the family. Things changed overnight as a serious illness struck my grandfather. She saw the unfolding of those events as a choice to her- to be strong and learn all that was needed to fight back or to feel intimidated by the sudden downturns and surrender to destiny. She put her thoughts in gentle, wise words- “Even if applying the change in attitude seems difficult in extremely miserable situations, it is very much possible. What you need to do is practice. Practice living it.”

So give it a try for yourself. Think about what this quote means.

It doesn’t mean to rush out and try to alter your life, it’s too big a job. Start easy by practicing altering your attitude, either when you’re struggling with a situation or when you’re in a great mood and want to stay there. If someone as brilliant as William James said it, you and I can certainly be open to the possibility it is true.

P.S. Honestly speaking, I personally trust my grandmother more than William James. So, I totally believe that the quote is true J

To The Child Inside Each One of Us...

There is a child inside each one of us.

The part that longs for a break in a very boring day.

The part that wants to go on a holiday with favourite people.

The part that wants to disappear from the things we dislike.

The part that longs for comforts of our homes especially after a long, bad day.

There is innocence in each one of us.

The part that misses the warm cup of Mom-made tea in the rains.

The part that smiles when two-year kid is laughing in his dad’s arms.

The part that misses the very funny things we did in our school days.

The part that misses those talks, games and evenings with the society friends.

There is a tinge of childhood alive in each one of us.

The part that wants to drench in the rains for the sheer joy of it.

The part that wants to sleep with our mother’s hand on our forehead.

The part that wants to call a friend a hundred miles away from us.

The part that does not want to be all alone at the end of a hard day.   

Yes, life makes us mature with time. Each and every one of us learns the hard ways of life at some point or the other- in one way or the other. That does make us rational and well-reasoned- but does not make the childlike qualities disappear.

In fact, that is why people who have innocent smiles are so endearing. The sheer delight reflected in the smile tugs at the strings of our hearts. The eyes which speak a lot are loveable- coz they reflect the emotions in the soul. It is the spark that keeps one going in hard times. It is the reason of the warmth in a smile and caress in a hug. 

It is the reason of the happy spirit, of joy and of cheer. It is the reason of the resounding laughter that pleases our heart. It is in the bond that we share with our closest friends. It is in the freedom of being our true selves- of being happy-of being spirited.  

And that is the reason I believe it is indeed important to keep that spirit alive in us. Life is not all about being rational and practical- it is as much about being emotional and young at heart.

Cheers!

The Twenties- The Age We Are In

Twenties-

The time when youth matures into adulthood.

It is a time when hopes become the essence of joy in our lives, when anxiety also comes along. One works with anticipation towards the future, yet looks at the coming day with a resolve of ambition in his mind. Almost everyone is in search of self and of a way to make a mark in the big, wide world.

The phase of life when ambitions are soaring new heights and when career plans are running at the back of the head at all times. This also brings tremendous pressure with itself; the pressure of proving one’s worth to parents, society, peers and even to self.

Ambitions definitely seem clearer than what they felt in the late teenage years but there is a lot that remains to be unraveled. There is a lot that is yet to be tried and we keep looking out for new chances, new opportunities and new avenues.

A lot of changes happen in twenties-big and small. Ideologies change, priorities change, emotions and expectations change. Because of this, our social groups might change. Many things appear in a different light. We ourselves change a lot.

Victories and defeats mark important points in this age. We learn to embrace them both. Disappointments make us feel sad, but we learn to get back up again. The tough times teach who our real friends are-as they stand by in both happy and difficult times. Friendships become even stronger and give a sense of strength, support, fun and joy in life.

Yet there is a place in the heart for a special someone.

The phase when the heart can’t help but long for someone to call its own, it’s very own; it wants to be with someone who is wonderful and ready to handle you at both your best and worst times.

The time when some serious heart breaks occur and reshape the outlook towards life and love considerably. The heart understands that it would prefer a solid, grounded, and a firm relationship rather than heavenly, fleeting, short-lived love experiences.

It becomes cautious. Sometimes, it may be scared because of the pains that it has gone through. The wounds heal for sure, but at a cost. They make the carefree ones a bit more careful too.

Goodbyes occur. Friends move to different locations. We move on to new places too-when career, hobbies and life call out to us.  The age when travelling and exploring feels fantastic, meeting new people becomes enjoyable, the introvert side begins to open up to the world and adapting becomes fairly easy.

New acquaintances and contacts are formed. Some of them bloom into beautiful friendships, some into love, some get lost. Some might get broken, some leave you broken.

The age of life when laughter echoes with the greatest force, tears roll down in greatest pain, the heart aches with the sharpest pain, someone’s silence speaks more than their words do.

The age when almost everyone has to make some tough decision, a hard-thought choice. A decision which has long term implications- sometimes not only on self, but also on family and the ones with whom we are connected.

This age is what nurtures the young girls into classy women and makes men out of boys. The twenties is definitely one of the most beautiful and challenging times of life.    

Do tell me what you think about this in the comments below. :)
Cheers!

Life changes.

We are infants when we come into the world. We grow-physically, mentally and emotionally. We embrace youth and carry with us certain impressions into our adulthood.  We earn, spend, enjoy, save and take on different roles in life.

Moments come and go. Our ambitions change. Our perspectives change. Our definitions of happiness and success change. Our most precious possessions change. Our ways of living change.

Changes are inevitable.

They are big. They are small. 

They are comfortable. They are uncomfortable.

Some of them- we store them and cherish them in photos- graduation, job, first salary, promotions, wedding, anniversaries, children and so on. They are the big, defined, celebrated moments.

Some of them- we don’t even realize at that point that they are changing us. They come unannounced. They tiptoe into our lives silently. Nonetheless, their effects are huge and pronounced.

I have attempted to put down some of the not-so-celebrated moments.

Some of them are idle moments-

When you are sitting with a cup of coffee near the window thinking about the choices that you have made in life so far.

When you are listening to a melody which reminds you of your college times and the passion that you had then.

When you are watching a video in which a character that is so much like you but is doing so much that you want to do.

When you are explaining the quote ‘You have to be the change that you want to see in this world’ to your nephew.

Sometimes, it is those soft moments-

When you have had a really bad day and a hug from a beloved one melts away all your stress.

When you are on the losing side of life but get to sleep in your mother’s lap to realize that you still have all that you need to fight and survive.

When you are being blamed for a wrong that you did not do and your partner holds your hand firm and tight to say that they are there with you.

When you are in a moral dilemma about a certain big decision to make and you look into your child’s playful eyes and know what the right thing to do is.

Sometimes the insightful ones-

When you are thinking about your deepest desires…hidden somewhere deep in your heart.

When you make a promise to yourself to go after what you want from life no matter what.

When the realization that life is just this once hits you right in the heart.

When the consciousness that you can make a mark in it if you try gets alive and kicking.

Sometimes the very powerful ones-

When the idea that the person with the greatest power to bring about a change in your life is you yourself takes the prime place in your way of life.

When you understand that with each day, you are actually getting closer to death. And so, you should not be spending away your minutes, hours and days so casually here and there.

When you realize after a near-death experience- what is going to matter in the end is the amount of love and goodwill you spread.

When you truly appreciate the fact that with your death, a lot about you will fade away, what will stay behind is what difference you made.

Our life is often shaped by how we take on in these moments. How we live with and after them. Let us embrace the only thing constant in life - Change.

Would love to know what you think about it. Please put in your thoughts in the comments :)

"You’ll be mine forever?" "Yes, I will. Until the very end"

His eyes looked deeply into hers. A tear slid down her cheek.  He caught her tear and shook his head lightly. He looked back into her eyes… and pulled her closer to him. He cupped her face in his hands…and she closed her eyes. She could feel the warmth and strength of his hands… and she wanted to take this feeling into her. She breathed in deeply… another tear was on the verge of rolling down.  The heavy silence in the air between them itself said that this moment was being very difficult for both of them.  

He bent forward a bit and planted a kiss on her forehead. He wrapped his arms around her… and let her hide in his embrace. She clutched him with all her strength. As much as she was trying to keep her heart in check, the more it was getting weak with each passing moment. He pulled her just an inch closer…and she realized that she won’t be able to let go.  Her restraint broke at that moment… and so did she. Her tears flowed copiously…wetting his shirt and with it, his heart. Her hands made an effort to hold onto him even more fiercely… as her heart screamed out loud that she did not want to be away from him. She knew she did not want to bear being away. She did not want to think about when they would meet again after this. She could not let a part of her own soul go away. Her tears seemed unstoppable… He was trying to keep her from breaking down to pieces, yet he felt like his insides were being sliced back and forth with a razor sharp knife…He was fighting the icy blades cutting through his heart. The pain was causing his eyes to water too. Somewhere deep inside, even he wanted to cry out like she was…but then, something in him would not let him do that. He had to be strong, he had to hold her, he had to sustain this…

He knew that time was passing fast. He had just some precious moments left with her- before they were to be separated for a time which neither knew how long. And that thought stung so badly that he jolted…sending shivers to her too. She looked up at him in his embrace with moist eyes… He looked into her deep blue eyes and like always, he knew that his life was meant for them and them alone. He noticed a strand of her hair troubling her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. She caught his hand up her cheek and tears rolled down yet again…

He made her sit beside him…and held her close to his heart. How he wished he could tell her how much she meant to him- She was his life, the essence of his existence…She was his happiness and his pain. She was the reason he had vowed to come back…He had changed- just for her. She was his surreal strength and source of life. That going away from her was causing him untold pain…but that he could not do anything about it. It was duty calling him… and none could forsake that call.

As he came out of the reverie of his thoughts, he realized that he was in her lap. Somewhere between her tears, she realized that he was breaking down too…and she showered him with all her affection and care. She was lovingly stroking his head…When he came out of his reverie, he looked up into those blue oceans again…

That moment stood still. His gaze was intense…so much so that she became still too. But the gaze was not harsh. It was a profound silence…in which both of them heard the unspoken words of the other. They realized that they was meant to be this way. That they would somehow find the strength in each others’ love to sustain the distance that was to come between them. That moment told both of them that they were each others’ forever…

With that, the clock chimed. It was time for him to go. Those last few moments had calmed both of them…readied them both for this. She hugged him… and this time, it was not a delicate and distressed damsel. It was a strong and a poised lady saying goodbye to him. And his heart relaxed and toughened up looking at the calm look in her eyes. Their steadfast love was going to take care of them. “You’ll be mine forever?” “Yes, I will. Until the very end…”

With a last kiss, he left her on the doorstep- with all the goodness of hope beating alive in her heart.